What IS Working?
Letting go, Learning, and Leaning-in
HOLA!
I’ve been posting a lot of wins lately.
TEDx.
Speaking engagements.
The app.
Accelerators.
Tory Burch.
Harvard.
Amazing clients.
And I realized something.
You’re seeing the highlight reel.
You’re not seeing what it took to get here.
So let me pull back the curtain.
This year I have applied so far to 127 opportunities.
Accelerators.
Grants.
Fellowships.
Speaking opportunities.
Partnerships.
Here are the numbers.
12 wins.
92 rejections.
Several still under review.
One grant where I’m currently a finalist.
And honestly?
I’m proud of every single one of those 92 rejections.
Because every rejection taught me something.
Every rejection made the next application stronger.
Every rejection taught me a better question to ask.
Not...
“Why isn’t this working?”
Instead...
“What IS working?”
Stop staring at what isn’t working. Double down on what is.
I’ve started applying that to everything.
Business.
Health.
Relationships.
Speaking.
Life.
Instead of mourning what isn’t moving...
I ask:
Where is the energy flowing?
Because energy leaves clues.
For example...
One of my biggest experiments this year completely failed.
Cold outreach.
10,000 emails… Literally. Ten Thousand.
LinkedIn messages.
Different messaging.
Different software.
Three months of testing.
Nothing.
Zero.
Even though I’ve helped dozens of entrepreneurs create lead generation systems that worked beautifully for them...
It didn’t work for us.
And that was okay.
Because it answered a question.
That isn’t our path.
And there is something incredibly freeing about discovering what isn’t your path.
Every “no” helps you get clearer on your “yes.”
Our workshops serve a very specific person.
High achievers with heart.
People who care deeply about impact.
People who value growth.
People who want purpose and performance.
That isn’t something you can easily filter from a spreadsheet.
It comes through conversations.
Shared values.
Relationships.
So instead of forcing it...
We let it go.
Another example.
My daughter Xilo and I created a flaxseed hair gel that completely changed our hair.
It slowed my gray hair.
Our curls are unbelievable.
We started selling it locally.
People loved it.
We even helped our nanny earn extra income making it with us.
Then reality hit.
It has to stay refrigerated.
Not exactly practical for someone wanting to keep it in their shower.
The product worked.
The business model didn’t.
So we paused.
Not forever.
Just until we solve the right problem.
Then there was our investment property.
Whew.
That one tested every ounce of patience Paul and I had.
We missed the ideal selling window.
That part was on us.
We hired one realtor.
Then another.
Then another.
Added appliances.
Waited.
Pivoted.
Waited some more.
Eighteen months later...
It finally sold.
We didn’t make what we hoped.
We also didn’t lose.
And what we gained was something far more valuable.
Experience.
Now we know exactly what we’d do differently next time.
Every one of these moments taught me the same lesson.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn’t to keep pushing.
It’s to let go.
To let go of an idea.
A strategy.
A timeline.
An expectation.
Not because you failed.
Because you’ve learned.
And learning deserves a new decision.
The beautiful part?
While all of this was happening...
Other things were quietly growing.
We got into the Tory Burch opportunity.
For that one, I reached out to previous winners.
Asked for advice.
Had them review my application.
One person believed in me enough to recommend me.
Paul landed Harvard and I landed contracts.
We found the right people.
Reached out through LinkedIn.
Email.
Every avenue we could think of.
Prepared late into the night together.
The app?
It keeps getting better every week.
I honestly cannot wait for you to experience it.
We have meetings every week with founders, investors, and accelerators.
Every conversation gives us another piece of the puzzle.
Every piece of feedback makes it stronger.
The interesting thing is...
When people see these wins, it looks like momentum.
What I see is iteration.
Testing.
Listening.
Adjusting.
Trying again.
I think that’s one of the biggest misconceptions about success.
People celebrate the outcome.
They rarely see the hundreds of tiny decisions that created it.
Or the courage it takes to emotionally let go.
This year I’ve had to let go of ideas I loved.
Products I believed in.
Strategies that looked perfect on paper.
And every time I asked myself one question:
What is working?
Instead of spending months trying to rescue something that wasn’t moving...
I put my energy where momentum already existed.
The app.
The coaching.
Speaking.
Partnerships.
Relationships.
Those were already whispering to me. I finally stopped trying to drown them out with things that weren’t meant for us.
That’s where life was saying yes.
And that’s where I chose to build.
Looking back, none of these were really failures.
They were data.
They were feedback.
They were redirection.
They were life showing me where the energy wanted to flow.
Once I stopped fighting that and started paying attention, everything became lighter.
So if you’re building something right now...
I see you.
I know the rejection emails.
The applications.
The pivots.
The moments you wonder if it’s worth it.
Keep going.
Keep learning.
Keep adjusting.
Your next opportunity may come because you had the courage to let go of the last one.
And one last thing.
When I celebrate your promotion...
Your new job.
Your TEDx.
Your business launch.
Your funding.
Your graduation.
I’m celebrating more than the moment.
I’m celebrating every invisible decision that got you there.
Because I know it wasn’t luck.
It was grit.
It was persistence.
It was intention.
It was choosing to show up one more time after the ninety-second rejection.
And that is always worth celebrating.
With love always,
Esther
P.S. One more decision we made this year. These newsletters won’t follow a schedule anymore. You might hear from me next week, next month, or three months from now. I’ll come to your inbox when I have something worth sharing. I think that’s when the real magic happens.